Farewell

To sweet, kind hearted Lee from my year who never judged me in high school.
Your son will be proud and remember you the way you always will be.

To my crazy pair of drinking buddies from back in the day, Leroy and Phil.
True inseparable Lovers until the very end of their short-lived lives.

To my sisters friends who were in the the wrong place at the wrong time.
May Sophie’s mum be at ease and get justice for the evil hate crime committed.

To a person I hardly knew but respected from a distance.
At least now you can be with your child again.

To the brilliant, glamorous and genuine diva I’ve ever had the pleasure to know.
Dance and party like you never left us in the first place dearest Danny.

I am sorry I didn’t get the chance to know any of you better.
Your deaths have made me reflect dearly on the most important people in my life.
My mother and my Lover.
My family and my friends.

And just how thankful I am.

In words.

So here’s to you. My Mother, Brenda.
loving, caring, sweet, kind, gentle, absolutely hilarious, talented,
brilliant in every way ever imaginable, with the nicest, infectious personality I’ve ever come across in a person other than my fiancée.
Your funeral was the world’s greatest.
You’ve made so many people happy.
You’ve single handedly inspired me to better myself, you’ve shown me that I have been looked after and raised right and that I can carry on I understand that you was scared at first when I came out to you as gay.
Your sole purpose was to have children, be married, have grandchildren from those children.
My fiancée is taking care of everything you were made to do.
She is the reason I still exist for she holds my heart, body, mind and soul.

I still miss you. I can’t deny it.

Death is such a sad, cold and tormenting thing. Grieving is a way of coping.
I am grieving. But I will always smile and remember you all. In different ways per person depending entirely on how each person has affected me As a person.

I will grow and be at peace one day too.
The thought of my friends and family just..dropping like flies, is absolutely terrifying.

The amazing, liberating feeling is that I am safe to share my thoughts on here,
rather than post all over Facebook for attention points like some.

I know I’m smarter than that.

I want to be able to help anyone else who has suffered great loss of loved ones.
I want to be able to inspire people the way my loved ones have inspired me.

Reassuring me that life Is worth living after death.