Life: as I know it

I started high school in 2001. All my primary school friends went to other schools. I was suddenly alone.
My oldest sister volunteered to show my year around the classrooms.
Everyone took their seat and found table partners. People quickly became friends.
Nobody sat with me. I couldnt look at them. They appeared happy and settled and I was a bag of nerves.
It wasn’t until the following week when everyone stared at me with such annoyance.
I Quickly realised I was the most unpopular newbie, the one everyone hated for no reason. Everyone had chosen their friends. I still weren’t too sure who mine were gonna be. If any.
So I stayed quiet and struggled through.
Then the bullies came.
I was bullied day in and day out.
It was starting to get ridiculously frequent and by the third month I felt as though I wasn’t able to take much more.
I’m surprised I didn’t make a stand with some serious, well needed violence.
In 2003 I made one friend.

We had been friends in primary and he moved schools after being tormented to his breaking point. Thank heavens.
My gay knight in sequinned armour.
Although only I knew he was gay.

We carried on our friendship and got in all kinds of trouble together.
We didn’t need anyone else and we fought our own playground battles.

Then one day in 2004, it was the end of the week and I was struggling with my English lesson, concentrating so hard on finishing an essay just to escape to my sanctuary bedroom when two strange girls approached me.

They looked like the kinda girls Anyone could be friends with but chose to stick together and ignore everyone else. Everyone but Me.
“You do know schools ended right?”
I gazed up at the short chubby one after glancing at the clock. 3:15pm. Huh.
“Oh, has it?” I lacked confidence.
“Yes. You are so weird. What’s your name?”

There began an era of a new,.. more outgoing me. They were my New friends.

I had gained a second chance and I found a new meaning to life as a young teenager.

We quickly became best friends.
I introduced them to Kristian on the same day.

Amanda, Kristian, Victoria & Elizabeth.
Queens of the nerds.

Looking back it was a Complete mistake, but if it wasn’t for those two girls and my in-the-closet (at the time) best friend Kristian, I would have never made it through high school alive.

Time went on and we formed a small comfortable group of outcasted kids.

This attracted attention from the almost outcasted kids. And our group grew.

We remained as a strong foursome though, our new friends had moved on and some just turned into dicks, but we were happy.

We ended up getting into all kinds of trouble, truanting, smoking in the school grounds, getting caught & being dragged back to school by the police, getting kicked out of lessons, making too much noise in the library…
The usual high school shit.

My life went on with my three best friends by my side until I finished high school in 2006.

That was the last of our amazing friendship.

We all went our separate ways and grew up found new shit to do.

I got into an abusive relationship at 16 whilst exploring my sexuality then decided I didn’t like being treated that way and I broke up with her on her birthday.

more on that later maybe. Maybe not.

It was a shame I didn’t get to do the E-media course I wanted but I had managed to get Art History as a course.
And they were btec nationals. Oooh!
There is hope yet! there wad no hope.

Upon joining an after-school club thingy to do with textiles I caught the interest of a nosey year sevener.
She was watching me carefully and asking silly questions about what my drawings might mean, which I found hilarious because I’d never heard anything like it!
We quickly became friends.
And it wasn’t weird at all.

I was 17. She was 11.
Don’t worry, this isn’t gonna turn into a love story.
There were no way that was gonna happen in a million years. She started seeing me as an older sister and I treat her like my younger.
Afterall, can you blame me? I literally had nobody else to speak to other than two hillarious year eleveners.
Who were very nice to me until they left.
Good choice to be honest. The college was bullshit. Just another prison.
Not even a college, just a show off fancy pants, poorly run academy.

I had turned down an offer from a technology college to attend sixth form to be with my controlling (ex) girlfriend at the time.
To this day I wonder why I did that.

Anyways, my sixth form class was made up of posers and show offs.
Mean and downright nasty people.
They left me out of conversations, constantly teased me about my sexuality. Day in day out. High school all over again.

Nobody interested me, nobody was interested in me..nobody wanted to get to know me the way young 11 year old Kathrine wanted to.

Her family treat me like family, especially when it was rough at home and I took care of her like she was my sister.

She’s all grown up now, doing her own thing.
The only difference is we stay in touch, unlike the high school “friends” who deserted me because I didn’t want to mess about anymore.

I finished college, had a few Shitty jobs involving greasy food and even greasier utensils.

2008. Burgerking fryer vents. Caked in built up grease.

Being in that atmosphere day and night depressed me and I had a lot going on at home.. which didn’t help. It gave me reason to drink myself into a frenzy. Escape into the night. Return to my four alcoholic high school friends and end the days drunk as a skunk.




My life was over. Dead end job.
I had transformed myself into this Completely stupid alcoholic with no hope, no future and no interest in anything else but to desperately be accepted by my forgotten three best friends from high.

Then I met Terri.

Beautiful Terri Louise.







Light of my life.
Woman of my dreams.
Cleanser of my alcohol addiction.
Warm hearted, extremely affectionate,
Really really really smart and witty.
But she can tear you from vagina to asshole with words.
That’s only a fraction of what I love about this woman.
She is amazing. All that she offers to me day in day out is absolutely Breathtaking.

She puts every thing into what she does.

I love you.

She helped me kick the habit and got me to focus my energy on the better things in life.
I was so alone in the world until she came along.

We have tons of adventures with our crazy relationship made up of sex, friendly drugs and rock n metal.
It helps that we are real best friends too.
I don’t need to prove myself to her, or hide myself.. she has accepted my personality first.
We never run outta things to say to each other. It’s truly a blessing.

And now, I can happily say I live in the most perfect house with my absolutely gorgeous Terri who brightens my darkest days, keeps me alive and has made me more confident than ever.

I am deeply in love with her.
And we are engaged to be married.


My best friend. My lover. My soulmate.


She is my muse.


She puts up with me and my whacky ways.


And I wouldn’t have my life any other way.


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