Yayy I’ve reached 100 followers!

Oh man, 100 people are currently following me! It’s such a fantastic achievement haha
I finally got there even though all I ever do is babble on about my adventures in r/l.

I couldn’t be more happier 😀

I love WordPress, its sooo much fun, theres so much to see and learn and relate to!

In the space of a couple of months I’ve found a fair few like minded friends I can really connect with.

Its such a warm welcoming place to share my thoughts and feelings and the beat thing is I’m not getting judged or corrected if and when I make grammatical errors 😀 I’m so thankful guys, Thankyou so much!

(sorry if that last sentence left you outta breath!)

Anyways, to show my gratitude here is a picture of me looking suave 😉


                     Happy Cheeeses!

Manda xx


Terri’s lovely message to me :3

taken from the heart of my spookyleireza

Today it has been five years since I got with Amanda AKA http://naughtybadbread.tumblr.com/

Time fucking flies.


I remember bringing my best friend to meet her.
One day a week or so later they were busy on omegle while I was asleep in the same room the bastards 🙂

I remember meeting her for the first time, but not what we talked about, only the rushed failure of a kiss when she had to leave.

I remember our first kiss, outside the burger king she was working at at the time.
A policeman cheered us on from his patrol car.

I remember when she asked me out properly,
and I remember what our adventure to roundhay park was like as well.
Even after all the arguments and stress,
even after her mum passing and her dad being Ill,
even after our first house had no hot water,
and the next had rats,
and the one after had damp.
Even after all that, I don’t regret a thing. I wouldn’t swap it for the world.

Celebrating Five Years of Happiness, Self Appreciation and Security

It’s my Five Year Anniversary and I am pumped! I can’t wait! Granted we have nothing special planned for the day/afternoon or evening, we are just going to stay happily together enjoying eaxhothers company in our little haven surrounded by our lovely pets and relax for a change.

A few years back we had a friend cook us dinner, which was lovely and usually we just go out together somewhere spontaneous.

But you know, I’m happy I don’t need to do all that to impress her, I know she’s mine, and she knows I’m hers and she just appreciates Anything as long as it doesn’t cost us a fortune.

We are Pretty frugal as a couple 😉

But this woman means the absolute world to me and I bought her a shiny silver ring with a nice little green studded flower on it..which was a small suprise.
I’ve got something else planned..but its top secret!
I’m a complete sucker for romance and spontaneousness. What can I say? 😀

Anyways, to celebrate our five years together I wanted to tell the story of how we met and fell in love.

I’ll set the scene – somewhere in August..maybe July 2009. 19 year old.
be me, alone, single since Feb 2009. Sat in my bedroom, browsing facebook and flash games being a complete nerd getting hyped about new games and films that are due to come out.
Pass the time alittle. So I have reason to go to bed early. And probably die alittle more inside.
Notification. Click. Friend request..hmm…Who’s it from? Who is this girl? I’ve never seen that name before in my life. Eh, mutual friends? Hmm.. can’t hurt. Click. Accepted. Instant message. Like literally… As soon as I accepted, she started typing. I got nervous. No.idea.why. make small talk and result in Fantastic conversation. Background history. Likes/dislikes. Smiling. Warm fuzzies. More amazing conversation flow. Moments pass. Then hours. More convos. Kisses…!… (x) …(xx)….each time we replied… (xx) more warm fuzzies. Grinning. I like making new friends. Me being nosey..looking at her photos for a short period of time (i do this a lot more than I should). Aw. She seems nice. Down to earth. Brilliant humor as seen in our convos. Flirting? Are we flirting? Am I flirting?! Shit. I’m being forward without realising it. Best back off so I don’t look.. desperate. I am desperate. I want to talk to this person. I want to flirt with this person. Heart pounds. Flirt for a long time. I want to see this person. I want to hold this person. Heavy eyes. I want to carry on talking to this person, but I have work… Say goodnight. Kisses. Xx log back in. ask where she’s from.

Change into sleepwear. Mind races. Look back at black computer screen. She lives nearby. How the hell have I gone through my life without ever seeing this person? Terri. Oh, Terri. Grinning now. Zzz.

Boy, did it show in public. People would ask knowingly “Have you met someone? You look great!” “not yet I haven’t.”

Look in the mirror at BurgerKing. Wipe said mirror with sanitiser and brown paper. Notice I’m blushing. Smile. Sigh. Fade back into word mode. Bzzz. Look back in mirror for some reason. Notice I’m constantly blushing everytime I get a text/facebook message. Oh god. What am I doing. She probably won’t end up liking me, if we meet. We should totally meet. Reply with just that. “okay xx” grinning now. Fade back into work mode. Mess up fading into work mode. Swoon for a moment. Race home, talk online. Dream pleasantly.

Weeks pass. Conversations are like 1000 word essays. Thoroughly enjoying life right now. Swooning every bzz. Every Boop. Every buh dump. This is amazing. I wonder if she feels the same way. Should I ask her. No. No. No nonono. Too forward. Extra kisses? Xxx. Hehehehehe. giggling like crazy. Alone in my bedroom. Giggling to a computer. But this time I’m not alone. Boop. O.o heart is pounding even harder now. Reply and “xxx”. 🙂 damn. 🙂 🙂 ❤

9th October 2009. Meeting this person that makes my heart beat faster than anyone has ever made it. Excited.

Work. Text message. Omgomgomg. It’s not her. Yes Yes. Whatever..ill come round to celebrate your shark faced friends birthday and probably end up a drunken mess as always. (Long story short.. Raging alcoholic. Bad times. Felt like I couldn’t stop. So I didn’t try.) Work some more. Bzz. Check phone. Finally. Amazing hilarious conversation. Lets meet tonight. Xxx. 🙂

Dip in to friends house for abit.. head straight to town afterwards. Return to friends house afterwards depending on the night. Perfect. Catch bus. Rain. Daydream on said bus. Smile softly.

Walk to millennium square. See Terri. Melt. Stare. Stop staring. Talk. Talk longer. Relax alittle. Flirt. Flirting increases. Flirt so much we end up holding hands and smiling at each other. Lust. No! No lust, go away. Not right now. Don’t do this to me. I want her. I want her forever. I want to love this person. I can’t stop looking at her. I’m making a fool of myself. Friend of Terris slaps me with wet icy glove. Snap back into reality. Get angry.surpress this. Ow my fucking face. Why. Why the hell would you do that friend of terris. Fuck you man. Take terris hand again. Wlak around for hours. Laugh. Warm up. Pain in face fades. Happiness settles in. Unpacks. Rents my heart. Times getting on. Kiss me. Please. I want you to kiss me. Hold eachother. Much longer than anticipated. Feel warmer. Heat up like a furnace. Heart beats uncontrollably. Butterflies in stomach. Oh god. I’m going to kiss her. Turn head-Both go to kiss each other! Miss completely. Kiss eachothers mouths… Corner.

Cherish. Forever.

George the kitten is finally hiss-free!

So about a month and half ago I decided to extend our little pet family and introduce a tiny kitten to my two cats Kiki and Gigi and big doggie Ruby and at first things were tense.


“who the hell are you? WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOME, BOY!”


“WOAH! Chill out man! We can be friends! Please give me a chance!”


“haha! I’m just fuckin with you Dude.”…


“just don’t touch my stuff yeah?”


“Mkay?!” ^.^ ❤

Gigi immediately became interested.
He taught him how to fight, how to pretend to stretch if he failed to sneak food, they played together every night and quickly became friends.
But Kiki.. she wasn't having Any of it.

There was lots of slapping and hissing and absolutely no affection was felt in poor George's little heart.
Except of course, from us.


But these days.. well.. the evidence speaks for itself!

Take a look at how things are now between them, especially Kiki…the hissiest of them all. It’s remarkable.

She absolutely hated him when he first set foot in this house… Which was to be expected to be honest.
Ah, It makes my heart swell with joy, it really does.


Scrub scrub here…


And a scrub scrub there!


Tum te tum te tum,


La dee daa dee doo!


Yep, definitely progress!

So I’m Currently Reading Sunstone….

For more – http://shiniez.deviantart.com/


Sunstone is the story of Lisa Williams, a fledgling writer who has kept her submissive longings buried for years, and Allison Carter, a dominant woman who has found herself largely isolated from the outside world.Following their relationship from early online interactions to their first meet up and beyond what Sunstone handles impressively is the BDSM nature of their relationship.

Crafting a story based on a lesbian couple with a fondness for bondage and domination makes for a pretty easy target of accusations of sleazy exploitation. The magic of Sunstone is the intelligence, wit and well crafted characters circumvent any such accusations.

What is most surprising is Sunstone is the work of Stjepan Sejic aka nebeziel known for his stunning art on Witchblade, Artifacts and more and his wife Linda Luksic Sejic aka sigeel who handles the writing.

Sunstone was born from a frustration and burn out with the comics industry that Stjepan was working in, primarily that he was drawing other peoples stories and prompted by an earlier experience previous to him making it professionally, he decided start an alias on Deviant Art where he could explore fetishistic images. A series of pin up pieces slowly evolved into what Sunstone is now.

The story doesn’t shy away from the couples sexuality or their love for fetish gear but makes Lisa and Allison complex, alive, flawed and believable characters. It shows that it’s possible to create something about lesbians in a BDSM centred relationship that is sexy and erotic, without reducing them to deadeyed sex dolls.

Whilst it’s currently a webcomic there is a mounting demand for a printed edition.


Pre-work rambling…

I’ve recently discovered that I need to be more assertive when it comes to work.


This is me. Being assertive. Ahah.

My boss is an absolute nightmare BUT I have managed to gather some extremely incriminating evidence against him prior to his extensive use of Porn on My work computer on my days off and even as soon as I’ve left the building.

Oh, we aren’t talking about that Vanilla shit men are caught stroking their counterparts to ..ohh no…

This was an extraordinary find!
This  was a list made up of the most random porn searches I have ever seen!
We had transsexuals being fisted, gay chatroom gangbangs, “fillthy dirrty sloppy lesbian sex” and “women orgasmning desperately” through a search engine.. the works.. and one solid crumpled piece of tissue under my chair.


Me and my partner reckon his dicks broken. Ahahaha

Anyways, I was willing to let it slide.. but he turned into an ogre one afternoon and by then I had just about enough of his shit..his word vomit and his mental abuse, we got into an argument and he said some pretty ego damaging things so I got mean and I slapped my metaphorical balls out onto his desk for everyone to see. 
For once.
I’m usually the quiet nice one who cowers at the very thought of confrontation.

So now.. he’s being really reallllllly nice to me and its making me feel like I’m my very Own boss!

I feel wonderful again.
Unbreakable even!
Let’s just hope it stays that way.

In a previous post I spoke about this insane experiment I was going to conduct where I was to change up the colours I wear to work to see if it changes said boss effectively.

(It was to see if the colour blue had a calming effect on him..psychologically.)

And the Result? no. Did it fuck!

If anything he started complaining that “id already wore this top” and then he had the cheek to tell me that I was stinking the room out day after day!

…And just to clarify that was One day a few weeks back when I had no way of getting to work, so I walked and the sun was beating down on me like god knows what..and I made the mistake of Not having any deoderant at hand. Dumdumdum! :O
But yeah despite everything I feel pretty good and knowing I have this power over him ..through no fault but his own forgetting the most important rule if you are gonna be a pervert for the day..

I can’t help but feel infuriated and violated by the simple fact that he’s been looking at hardcore lesbians going at it.. and I am a pretty hardcore lesbian.


Anyways, I have a company to run in a few hours so Amanda.out.


Someone Else’s Will

A Drop in Time

Eyes closed in pleasure
a body moving
to someone else’s will

A flick of a tongue against an earlobe
a gentle bite
fingers in hair
exposing the throat

A soft moan
lips and teeth take turns
savoring flesh

Barely audible
a plea
just a simple word


The caress of a tongue
the tracing of a vein

A knowing smile
a simple kiss

“Not today my needy one”

Breath catches
power exchanged
pleasure gained
from someone else’s control

– Chas Harold

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Rothwell “Goth” Attack!


It’s disgraceful really.
The lengths people will go to seriously harm others just for their possessions.

John O’gaunts, Rothwell. 2008. 11pm.
This was the day me and five of my friends nearly lost our lives to some guys with machetes, shotguns and a stupid motive:
“let’s go steal all their money and phones and booze!
Oh and Make sure to take the weed and any other gadgets too!”


Leeds Corn Exchange – Doomsday.

It was my friend Jessica’s 18th Birthday, she had nothing special to do so she had invited me and our crew to a camping trip near her house for good measure.
Or so she can make sure to be home in the morning to look after her sister. Whatever.


I was at my band practice when I got the invite and our day at the studio was coming to an end so I seen some friends off and joined the party in getting shit tons of barbecue food, buying some weed, gathering friends then we headed to the camp site.

5 miles on foot huh. This will be fun.

It was coming round to about half past 7, we were getting closer to our destination..until my friend Matthew decided to get distracted and retraced his steps taking pictures and documenting the wildlife.

I tried to follow him to get him back to the group but the path we explored brought us out to some kinda farming field complete with a very high and very much alive electrical fence.

My phone started buzzing and when I answered it was one of my friends from the party.
He wanted to know where “the fuck” us guys were? Still don’t have a clue where we were to this day.
It got real now.
We then played the most serious game of Marco Polo I’ve ever encountered.
I could hear the concern in his voice.
“Manda, I’m worried.
Do you still have the weed?”
“You..legend! Ok see you soon yeh?” *beep*
Man, fuck this guy.
That was Gibbo. 26 years old and basically the leader. Brilliant guy.

Two hours later, and I’m not kidding, we found our way out of the field, down a long road, through some tall trees and over a motorway. Signs. I love signs.
Civilization at last. We were knackered!!! John O’gaunts’ 2 miles away.
Oh great, more walking! Motherfucker!!!

On foot, we continued until found our way to the party but there was something amiss.
New people has joined the party.
Three new people both me and Matty had never seen before. They had travelled up to our party on their mopeds and they were handing out joints and booze. I calmed down once they seemed to blend in, broke the weed up and let loose.
This was gonna be an amazing night. Me and my buddies.

About half an hour later, Elliot joined me and he was already baked. Panicking too. Maybe having a bad trip. No. There was something troubling him..I had never seen him acting so uneasy. He’s the most easy going, chiller person I know!
I leant forward and rubbed his arm in a reassuring manner, “you alright?!”
“Beatrice hasn’t returned. She jumped on some randomers bike, or scooter to go to the shop and Ste got on the other dudes bike and they haven’t returned..so I’m going to go look for them.”
“Ah man, it’ll be okay, if they aren’t back in five I will go look for them with you.”

An hour later, we had forgotten about Beatrice and Ste.
Shortly after I reassured Elliot, we got drinking and hot boxed our tent.

Then, a blood curdling scream deafened me, but brought us back to the reality of what was going on. I was first to burst out of the tent, thinking Shit!! Oh shit what’s happening! All I could see is five people in the distance at the bottom of the hill getting ruffed up by More random people. I saw Reb’s face get sliced open first.


This was No joke now. We were All in trouble.

I snapped out of my simmering dopey after effect from all the weed and booze and I started calling to my friends, frantically packing up all the tents, checking my phone in the haze of the crazy.
35 missed calls and a text saying “RUN!”
My eyes were so wide and fearful, my throat, once thoroughly lubricated, ran as dry as a desert.
I didn’t even bother to check who the text was from, I just knew I had to get everyone out immediately.

I ripped open Matty’s tent first, picking at random because I had no idea where everyone was settled. He was shivering into a corner at the back of the tent. In shock. Lips pale as the newly approaching moonlight.
I threw his puny body onto my back and we were joined by a running and now screaming Elliot.
We rescued Jessica next, then disturbed Debbie and Ash who were far too busy with each other and extremely loud music to notice what was going on.
I threw their music player and it smashed on the ground near the camp fire.
Ash stood up, looked around..naked..startled at our sudden appearance.

He shook me, asking me what I know, driven mad in seconds, fearing for his brothers fate.
Ash is Ste’s brother.
Ste had been missing for two hours. I still needed to tell him that. According to Jessica, Kyle was missing too, and zeb.

We couldn’t find Gibbo either. Ash finally put some clothes on and to our horror, he ran away from us into the night. Elliot called Jessica’s dad and he may as well have turned up in a helicopter with how fast he arrived at the camp site.
Jessica’s dad took Elliot, Jessica, Debbie and some camping equipment home.
There was no room for me and Matty, so we ran away together once they’d left.

It was a nightmare. I collapsed from exhaustion when we reached a gorge. Feeling a little safe knowing we were away from the camp site, and that we had managed to save our friends, even if it put us in danger.
Its just the kinda person I am.

Matty was beginning to turn blue.
What the hell was wrong with him?
I took my coat off and gave him Gibbos hat to wear.
I shivered into my knees.

What felt like hours went by, and there was Another scream, this time a mans scream.
I cried silently and hugged Matty to me.
A figure appeared near us, I looked up, whimpered and I told him to kill me and spare Matty.
I squeezed my eyes shut, then I felt a hairy hand gripping my jaw and with such force.
He was trying to kiss me!!!
I had no time to retaliate, or so I thought…
My leg came up and got him right in his bollocks. He went down fast and then scrambled for my feet. Matty grabbed his arm and yanked him away, then I saw blood and heard my dear friend screech in pain.
I jumped up, kicked the attacker in his face which broke his teeth and he stood up moaning in pain, mouth full of blood and spat at me, laughing. Which was fucking terrifying. I ran. I grabbed Matty by my coat and his sleeve and we stumbled and fell down a small hill.
The man was closing in and I was already saying goodbye to my life and my friends, loved ones, family, college friends…everything and everyone.

I looked over at Matty and his neck was bleeding, and his chin. I stood up to attend to his wounds but then I went back down from a blow to the back of my head.
I was disorientated, Matty had fainted because we bumped heads, blood was coming from where I got hit and he was being robbed. The man told me to stay down or I die.
I told him it’ll be him in prison, not me.
He stood up and punched me, which buried my face into the mud.

Amazingly, I scrambled to my feet and managed to push the man over which clumsily made the machete he was wielding fly out and slice me from ear to cheek, I pushed him again and this time he toppled down further, giving me enough time to rescue Matty.
Putting my life at risk for a good reason. We are not dying tonight. Not like this.

Matty immediately roused and he flailed and accidentally kicked my flopping legs and we fell sideways around 10ft off a sloping slippery hilltop into a river concealed by bushes and stinging nettles. Lovely Amazing Brilliant wildlife. Take a picture!

I laughed and passed out.

I dreamt of drama class, back in high.. My friends were dressed up from the props in the costume box, we were all laughing.. Happily. Safe.
I saw my parents sadly smiling down at me.
As if I was suddenly in danger.

I shot upright. Aching, bleeding everywhere including my face.

Lights, camera, ….. Action? Police radios. Search lights from helicopters.
An immense feeling of relief overwhelmed me once again.
A police dog sniffed and barked at my face, which tickled and scared me at the same time. I lifted Matty up and another policeman told me to go steady.

We were all reunited in Beeston police station. 5am. My phone was gone.
But I didn’t care. My life wasn’t… So it was all going to be okay.
We all hugged and cheered. Even if most of us were covered in blood, mud, sweat and rain.
Reb had a nasty cut across her forehead.
Matty needed a few stitches for his neck
Kyle had a broken leg and a cut near his wrist.
Elliot, Debbie and Jessica were fine, but cried when they seen us.
Simon and Hannah were completely fine, but simon had a big bruise near his eye.
I looked in the mirror in the station toilets and I grimaced. But when I got the courage to wash my face, wincing in pain.. It wasn’t As bad as it seemed when it was covered in mud and blood.
Almost like a smiley face haha! Small, concealable if needs be.. I was fine.

Ash wasn’t. He had been stabbed. He was in intensive care. He lived though.
Ste was found draped over a fence naked next to a motorcycle helmet.
Cut up in different places. Serious and injuries from being hit with the helmet.

The police showed us the pictures. It was horrific and I immediately felt selfish.
As if I didn’t do enough to help. I fell to my knees and cried.
Everyone else bawled. It was emotional. Sad. Upsetting.

The bad news wasn’t over.


His ear had been cut off. And fed to him.





The criminals are behind bars now. They only got four years.
Everyone’s fully recovered now.
As you can see.



So did Gibbo.


That’s not an excuse to stab someone, fucking children.

Facebook these days..What aloada bollocks

Seems like the only reasons I check Facebook these days is to keep in contact with my loved ones or play games when I can be bothered. Which is a rare occurrence.

The reason for my lack of Facebook visiting is that there’s always someone who complains about every little thing,
someone who posts “sooo bored” every half hour
and countless hypocritical “status” updates about stereotypes, babies, weight gain, period pain, heartache, cheating men, cryptic statuses you’d need a code breaker to crack, bragging and general showing off and arguments.

Then you get people posting warnings that don’t make a jot of sense!

You know the ones…. I’ve come across a fair few myself.

I’m sick of logging in to be greeted with a picture of a dog with..let’s say.. His tails been ripped apart, there’s blood coming from his eyes, his bodies inside out and underneath is a message all in caps saying shit like,

sorry, trigger warning for anyone who has ever had something like this happen to their dog. My condolences. Really. Its a serious topic though. Something that needs to be brought to attention.

I just can’t think for the life of me why people find this bullshit acceptable.
I aimlessly scroll through this news feed and its all I see.. Heck, I don’t even know why I bother sometimes.
Its just generic statuses bitching and sharing shit.
And I just don’t know why people have to share such horrifying stuff around Facebook.

Here’s a brief example of what I mean…
A little while ago my fiancée’s ex boyfriend decided to post a dirty comment on a photo of my niece because …well..if you had seen the image at the time..you’d know.
In this photo..she is eating ice cream, but she’s dropped a shitload of it on her dress.. So he goes “huh. Reminds me of a porn I seen once.”
So within seconds my sisters gang up on him and even send death threats.. Now this sadistic fuckwit is my partners friend and ex boyfriend…and he’s been known to be really disgusting whenever he wants, which drives my partner insane with shudders and laughter because we are extremely dark humored.

I’m left embarrassed because my family are defending my sisters kids photo out sheer boredom. They post vile shit all the time and nobody bats an eyelid.
He didn’t even know it was my niece… He didn’t even know I was related to the girl in the picture! It was an innocent dark humored post. But it caused a fucking war online. My brother in law asked me directions to his house.
I simply said “South Africa… So good luck!” Idiots.

I just found it funny, my partner found it funny….even if it was unnecessary.
So I stepped in.. And told them to shut the fuck up.
Because I realised soon after he posted it…..
They retaliated just for the sake of arguing.

He even deleted the comment, which I respected even if he felt forced to do so!

Anyways..the point I’m trying to make is people are ridiculous with Facebook.

They post stupid random bollocks …. Sometimes its absolutely revolting, swearing in front of their kids, then blaming the media for their children simply copying them.

Hypocritical Cunts.

I may be ranting right now… But surely this is relatable… Right?

Related song lyrics-

Next time you point the finger, I’ll point you to the mirror.

What Studio Ghibli Means To Me: A Tribute To Hayao Miyazaki


Very soon, The Wind Rises will be released, marking both Studio Ghibli’s 18th feature film and the inevitable end to Hayao Miyazaki’s career. The co-founder of animation company Studio Ghibli has become an icon in the word of modern animation, influencing and shaping the industry with a remarkable career spanning six decades, and his 11th film as a director for Studio Ghibli will be his last. The quality of The Wind Rises barely matters at this point; his career, with its countless films of pure genius and unrelenting wonder, has given us quality that begs to be watched for years and years, generations and generations. In my journey to be the film fanatic that I am today, Miyazaki’s work has had an immeasurable effect on me. My appreciation for both foreign cinema and animation would not be as strong as they are today without the influence of Hayao Miyazaki’s films…

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Is Blue the colour of tranquility?


See, I’m not the kind of person to have a specifically chosen outfit for when I go to work in the morning.

I generally just choose at random like “yeah this looks okay” and put whatever it is on while I’m getting ready.
But every time I wear blue or turquoise or even teal colours my boss is the nicest boss I’ve ever had.

Usually, he’s a complete cunt!
He is moody, rowdy, picky, demanding and sometimes quite a threatening character.
And I’ve come to notice there’s a pattern forming that tells me.. maybe subliminarily.. my boss is angry because I’m not wearing blue that day.

Dude, come on.
There’s only so many times I can wear blue!
Another thing I’ve noticed is if I wear anything black and have my arms covered..he tends to be neutral with me.
As if its enough to Not be angry with me and also enough not to bother me.
I wonder if he will get angrier if I wore red?!
I wouldn’t dare to be honest!
I don’t tend to wear Any red to work.
I believe people subconsciously see it as threatening, like a bull would.

And that’s the last thing I would want to happen.. have my grumpy grouchy old fart of a boss running towards me tormented, pumping angry steam from his nostrils.

fuck, that’s terrifying!

And I can’t exactly lift a red top up to shield myself or to waft like a bullfighter would but I think I’m onto something so I will post what happens at the end of next week after my little experiment.
Tonight I will enter my wardrobe and find every blue item I have and get it ready for the week ahead! *gulp!*

*Groan* oh the repetitveness!

Not so temporary anymore! :D

Last night before I went to bed I witnessed my big old grumpy cat have what looked like the time of his life 🙂

He was rolling around my carpet and throwing his entire body at temporary george.
Me and my fiancee thought it was brilliant!
Here are some photos of the furry fiasco.








It was absolutely wonderful seeing them like this, you’ve just got this one to impress now little fella.


Shouldn’t be.. too hard. :/ hah.

Making Decisions in a Time Machine

If I could alter all my memories
i’ve kept hidden away or shown
Would I take the chance?
leave it all alone,
And continue on with the dance.

If I could make some of it better
Not having to worry if anything changed,
Could I keep my life the way it is
Would I choose to rearrange?

If a time machine existed here
I’d know exactly what I would do
I’d set it right back to my darkest days,
And spend all my time with you.


Would I change the job i’m doing?
The life I’m leading, the emotions I’m feeling?

If life’s taught me anything
The happiness within me’s not worth stealing.
I’d recede, end up peeling
Become evil and deceiving.

To the world i’d be a bitch,
Time’s fabric would drop a stitch.

If I changed the things that happened
you may not end up being mine.
And I just can’t bear the thought of
My entire life being on the line.






To sweet, kind hearted Lee from my year who never judged me in high school.
Your son will be proud and remember you the way you always will be.

To my crazy pair of drinking buddies from back in the day, Leroy and Phil.
True inseparable Lovers until the very end of their short-lived lives.

To my sisters friends who were in the the wrong place at the wrong time.
May Sophie’s mum be at ease and get justice for the evil hate crime committed.

To a person I hardly knew but respected from a distance.
At least now you can be with your child again.

To the brilliant, glamorous and genuine diva I’ve ever had the pleasure to know.
Dance and party like you never left us in the first place dearest Danny.

I am sorry I didn’t get the chance to know any of you better.
Your deaths have made me reflect dearly on the most important people in my life.
My mother and my Lover.
My family and my friends.

And just how thankful I am.

In words.

So here’s to you. My Mother, Brenda.
loving, caring, sweet, kind, gentle, absolutely hilarious, talented,
brilliant in every way ever imaginable, with the nicest, infectious personality I’ve ever come across in a person other than my fiancée.
Your funeral was the world’s greatest.
You’ve made so many people happy.
You’ve single handedly inspired me to better myself, you’ve shown me that I have been looked after and raised right and that I can carry on I understand that you was scared at first when I came out to you as gay.
Your sole purpose was to have children, be married, have grandchildren from those children.
My fiancée is taking care of everything you were made to do.
She is the reason I still exist for she holds my heart, body, mind and soul.

I still miss you. I can’t deny it.

Death is such a sad, cold and tormenting thing. Grieving is a way of coping.
I am grieving. But I will always smile and remember you all. In different ways per person depending entirely on how each person has affected me As a person.

I will grow and be at peace one day too.
The thought of my friends and family just..dropping like flies, is absolutely terrifying.

The amazing, liberating feeling is that I am safe to share my thoughts on here,
rather than post all over Facebook for attention points like some.

I know I’m smarter than that.

I want to be able to help anyone else who has suffered great loss of loved ones.
I want to be able to inspire people the way my loved ones have inspired me.

Reassuring me that life Is worth living after death.

The words of my heart.

I chose to upload this picture as it is now the Eve of Leeds Pride 2014 and I wanted to share with you all, my beautiful Fiancee.

Leeds pride 2010

Terri-Louise. (Aka @fueledbypixiedust on WordPress.)
One day I will marry her during Summer Solstice in a big field full of our loved ones and most importantly our future.

She is the light of my life, she lubricated the hinges to my rusty neglected heart, reached inside and pieced it back together, carefully studying the holes left by the bad memories.

She encapsulated and protected it, preserving it for five long wonderful years.

My heart may never leave this immaculate condition.

I belong. At last.

Me and my one true love.
Nothing can stop me from being with this woman forever.
I guarantee it.

I love you xxx

6 Great Reasons Why I Am a Graphic Designer


full credit to:  http://www.graphicdesignblog.org/reasons-why-become-graphic-designer/



After spending nearly a decade in the field of graphic design, I still ponder over the question…What drove me into becoming a graphic designer? Even though I have relentless passion and obsession for graphic designing, I still can’t decide what solitary factor inspired me into this field. I’m sure the same question haunts many graphic designers out there.

Whether you are seasoned campaigners or newbie graphic designers starting your career, there is an actual motive…a reason that drives you into your line of work. So…ever wondered why you decided to become a graphic designer? Was it the money, fame and laurels that attracted you? Was it pure desire and fervor for graphic designing that lead you into this field? Or was there another reason?

Before answering, I would like you to go through the 6 most common reasons that most graphic designers give for entering the creative design world.


1. To be a Creative Individual:

Graphic designing is a field for highly creative individual people. Although anyone can dream of becoming a designer, but not everyone can succeed in it. Being a graphic designer gives you the freedom and liberty to explore your creative thoughts. It also provides you the chance of independently working on a project and taking decisions on your own. Some people like the thrills of creative freedom and self-determination and thus end up becoming a graphic designer.

2. Be Rich and Wealthy:

Those who believe that a graphic designer doesn’t earn much should check out the rebranding costs of famous brands. You will be amazed to find out how rewarding the field of graphic design is. A creative job like identity development isn’t a one day endeavor and required immense though process to execute. Consider the example of Pepsi rebranding which cost over $1 billion. The entire rebranding consists of conception, implementation of design and introduction of new identity to the target audience. Some people are acquainted with the riches of graphic design and thus are attracted to the field too.

3. Achieve Fame and Recognition:

It is a know fact that fame and eminence go together with a successful designer. The word ‘designer’ itself is enough to create celebrity fame. Be it a fashion designer, web designer or a graphic designer, fame and recognition are hard to avoid. Since you are the brain behind identities that make upfamous brands, you will be highly regarded in the marketplace as a creative expert. Consider the example of Carolyn Davidson who rose to fame after creating Nike’s hallmark ‘Swoosh’. Most people are inspired by famous designers and thus decide on becoming the same themselves.

4. Follow Family Footsteps:

This is probably one of the most common reasons why people choose a certain profession. An engineer’s son becomes an engineer, a doctor’s daughter ends up being a doctor. This practice is also seen in graphic design as well. Since most of the members in your family are graphic designers, you follow into their footsteps and end up being one too. You may not realize this at first, but later on in your careers when you start hating your job, you will understand the consequences of choosing your profession in this fashion.

5. Earn Awards and Laurels:

Some people have a yearning for awards and laurels in their lives. Probably inspired by the Golden Globe Awards or The Oscar, they love standing in the limelight and receive awards for their accomplishments. Graphic design is one of the fields which not only give remuneration, but also awards for the outstanding performances. There are various graphic, logo and web design awards that take place annually. Some people become graphic designers just to earn laurels.

6. Make a Difference in Design Community:

Graphic designing is a field for highly creative individual people. Although anyone can dream of becoming a designer, but not everyone can succeed in it. Being a graphic designer gives you the freedom and liberty to explore your creative thoughts. It also provides you the chance of independently working on a project and taking decisions on your own. Some people like the thrills of creative freedom and self-determination and thus end up becoming a graphic designer.

Right in the feels :(


Marvelous Kitteh.

Hopefully he will be a New addition to my ever-growing family… but for now,
this is Temporary George.

He will be staying with me and my S.O for a little while, which is upsetting because I’m getting extremely comfortable with him being around.

(we have had him for nearly 3 weeks now) 

george 2 lick


The reason why i said “Temporary George” is not because I plan to slice this kitteh into a thousand pieces in order to have my very own shish kebab set.. NO! he’s probably going to my in laws. I say probably because they have a batshit crazy dog who just wants to jump all over him…as we have already had happen. He’s okay though.

I know what you are thinking and Don’t worry, they are the kindest most gentlest people I know.
They wouldn’t harm anyone or anything, even if you paid them.,

And I would never put an animal in danger. I just love them too much!
I’m a little bit sad that hes probably gonna be leaving, but luckily hes moving in a few streets away! 🙂 so win win, i guess.

I hope i have given him a few memories to go away with.

george 3 - stroke

mind the messy kitty fur on my c.o.d t-shirt, ahem…

Here’s to you, George, for lifting my heavy heart momentarily.

Adorable little buggar.

Ruby will miss being hissed at and patted on the nose and bum.


aw, i really enjoyed that!



Gigi will miss his cuddly buddy, now that you have stopped grabbing his tail.


aw! who’s gonna keep my butt warm now? :((



and Kiki…. well, we tried to get her to be friends with you but shes too damn stubborn.
least now she wont go hide under the TV.


Aww Yiss!! Finally, I get to just stare blankly at everyone again. yaay!



what you got ther? :))))))))




Can’t say we didn’t try and make you feel welcome buddy!

Am I Too Young To Be So Bitter?

I’m alittle bit bitter too, even at 24!
Brilliant speech, I teared up a little because I completely agree with this bold, hard-hitting truth.

Not only did I work seriously hard in college.. I failed to get into Uni due to working alittle Too hard.
They said I was over qualified for my DREAM courses!

I was bitter the moment I noticed people around me had played it kool in college and succeeded and got the dream courses in their dream Uni’s.

Am I Thirty Yet

the internship owen wilson

A few weeks ago I went to my friend’s graduation. I’m one of those people who tends to cry at everything. I can’t even watch 95% of the commercials they air these days without a box of tissues on hand. So I warned my friend that I’m probably going to tear up at some point during the ceremony. Graduations can be an emotional thing and I just knew one of those speeches was going to get to me.

I couldn’t have been more wrong. Sadness was the last thing on my mind. If I was going to tear up, it would have been from laughing so hard. I laughed at most of the speeches. It was either I laugh or scream with rage. Anger. That’s the emotion I felt the most during the graduation ceremony.

I graduated from college over four years ago. I owe a ton of money from student loans…

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The fault in our Cinemas

the fault in our stars was incredible, so true to the book and just as moving … its just a pity that we had some fucking slappers pretend crying through the entire film and saying stupid shit such as
“oh he’s so gorgeous! Eugh no I take it back he’s drooling and covered in vomit Lolololol” (yes, they actually said Lol)… 😦
and then LAUGHING and calling the characters stupid retards when they are shown suffering.

If Anyone would’ve laughed At my Mum I wouldnt’ve thought twice about knocking some common sense in to them. Completely Disrespectful!
I know its only a story but it means a whole  lot to people like me who have loved And lost someone so special to them.
It helps them come to terms with the saddening grief that burns a path of destruction in your heart and soul.
It makes them thankful for the time they have had with them.
No matter how short.
What the fuck is this world coming to?!!!?

How to Work with a Graphic Designer to Create a Logo You Love

I agree on the relationship connection with the client, however in my country the clients I come accross have absolutely No idea what they want and it can be extremely frustrating when they don’t like my suggestions as it prolongs the design process.
I work for a small print company called Edwin M Harmer Print where the clients know Exactly what they want, which is a relief.. but I also work part time as a freelancer and I have one supplier company called Successprint.
Me and the owner of this company are good friends and we usually spend more time trying to convince clients that we know exactly what they want even though half the time we don’t.
The system works anyways.
We always get an approval in the end.

Small Talk Marketing & Communications by Jennifer Calero

Since I’ve been talking about branding on the blog lately, I thought it would be a good time to talk about how to work with a graphic designer to create your logo.  As I am sure you know, your logo is one of the most important pieces of your branding efforts.  Overall, any graphic you use to represent your company is a silent representation of who you are so first and foremost, always make sure your marketing materials are professionally produced if you want to look professional!Working with a graphic designer

In the last month, I learned a valuable lesson about the client/graphic designer relationship and that is, sometimes words are just not enough for a designer to interpret a client’s vision.  You see, while we all may think graphic designers have some magical power that allows them to get in our heads, see our vision and create it…unfortunately they just don’t.  The truth…

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Anyone else have a Dog like Mine??



The smartest dog I’ve ever come across.
She can open just about anything! With great ease too.
Not sure how she does it but my cats work with her to open cupboards, fridges, drawers, doors and even screw cap bottles!

She pulls door handles down and at the same time she can yank the door open forward.
She doesn’t seem to be able to open push opening doors though.
When me and my partner Terri went shopping once she managed to pull the slide lock from inside the house and she successfully and quite hilariously locked us out of our own house. Hadn’t even lived there for a month at that time!

we had to get this worker from across the road to pretty much break into our own house then we destroyed the slide lock to prevent it from happening again. 🙂

But no matter how many times i have to block up the fridge-freezer,
take a shovel and jam it in my cellar doors handle and make sure there’s no
washing up to be smashed when we get back from being out,
i will always love this dog.
She’s friendly, loving and very loyal to us and i guess the stress she puts me through sometimes will keep my adrenaline pumping. 🙂

Wishing I would L-O_O-K my Age.

th welol

I mean why not? When am i gonna Look my age, even when i wear make-up
i look like I’m a 12 year old eagerly trying to get into a nightclub or an 18+ movie. hah.

I suppose for some people its a good thing. Knowing they will never have wrinkles until they are at least 90. (if only eh?)

I’ve decided that in my next life, I’m going to be taller, more imaginative and much more artistic than i already am.
Oh yeah and i definitely won’t have dark circles from the day I was/will be born.
As any of my closest friends know, I’m kinda ashamed of them.. strangers tend to mistake me for a corpse or paint me in a light that says
“whoah! watch out, she’s a motherfucking zombie!” or the classic “Arrgh! take my money, not my children!” ¬¬.

Come on body, Surprise me!